Here's a tip: next time you poo, see if you can get it to go up your underwear, across your torso, and into the vicinity of your chesty-bits. You should get it on your outfit, on your bedclothes, and on a piece of furniture, if at all possible.
Can't achieve this?
You just got served by a 3-week old.
On a related note, hand-held shower heads are quite handy when you need to hose off poo.
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