Wellllll....it turns out that our very own Lawrence Culver (hot young historian) has a bit of a sideline, too. He's a burger mogul! And what's worse, they're "butter burgers"!
That's right. Dr. Culver, originator of LaCaRI (Lawrence Culver's Ass Reduction Initiative) peddles BUTTER burgers in his spare time. But wait, there's more:
Yes, that's right. Not just butter burgers, but also Frozen Custard. For the love of God!
See, below, how he taunts the people who buy them. Right there, on the bag, he tells you how good your fatty little snack will be. I don't doubt that all over Lexington (and various other small cities) people are trying to sponge drool off of their upholstery.
The final insult? Nutritional information pamphlets. Because when you want to "Eat Smart" you want a place that specializes in butter burgers and frozen custard.
You're a bad, bad man, Dr. Culver. A bad man. Bad.
2 comments:
Sadly, Culver's does not appear to have reached the West Coast yet. But Ricky and I saw them in both Minnesota and in Texas, so they've got the Upper Midwest and the Mid-South covered. Sadly, we never made it to a Culver's while we were there...being the originators of MeRiARI (Meg and Ricky's Asses Reduction Initiative)
Oh no! I've been uncovered! My whole plan was to get rich by getting the nation fat off butter burgers and frozen custard, and then get even more disgustingly rich by selling the LaCari diet plan to them.
Thankfully the first part of the plan is still working perfectly, jugding from the ever-increasing size of the average American ass.
Post a Comment