How To Go To Bed, By Iain

First, you should know that this is not easy. It's going to require Total Commitment from you and your team. They all have to be on board (see above).

Step 1: Take a bath. Splash a lot. Try to get water on The Staff's glasses, but if you can't achieve that it's always fun to repeatedly drink the bathwater, just to annoy them.

Step 2: Car jammies. You really, really need to understand the centrality of this point. Jammies with cars on them contribute to deep, restful sleep. Studies show it. Studies from Harvard, and stuff.

Step 3: Sesame Street. Watch it. Bring your friends, monopolize the pillows. You'll need about 15 minutes of vintage S.S. (do NOT, repeat: do NOT watch modern Sesame Street - not the same thing at all, and no clinical value) to release your melatonin stores. Once that sleep hormone's coursing through your veins, you're all good.

I provide this information because I want to help people. So many tall people say they're "tired" and "exhausted" and "rocked." I don't know what they're doing at bedtime (because: hello! I'm already asleep), but it isn't working. Try my system - it works.