More Conversations with The Dad

From Maddie's Daddy:

So, dude, Our Tiny Beautiful Lady asks for food items, and has a standard response when we don't have them available:

OTBL: I want grapes!

The Dad: I'm sorry, we don't have any grapes.

OTBL: Buy some more!

So then over the last month, we lost both of our very old cats to cancer -- brother and sister, same age and same genes, died two weeks apart, very hard to see. And we walked to the store last week, and as we were walking back, OTBL said we were going home to feed the cats. And The Dad said, "My love, we don't have cats anymore."

And so she said? "Buy some more!"

Unrelated: The Dad took OTBL on a road trip, and we ended up at an ostrich farm near Solvang, where OTBL watched The Dad feed an ostrich. (Ostriches are big angry f[#^%]s, and they eat by slamming their faces into the food bowl -- it's like watching a tetchy oil rig. With teeth. The Dad was not gonna let OTBL feed them.)

But so anyway, OTBL is watching an ostrich slam its hideous face into a bowl of nasty pellets, and The Dad was all, like, "Whaddya think?"

And OTBL said, pointing, "Wanna ride it!"