Sunday, February 01, 2009

Memo to Staff: Food


TO: The Staff

FROM: His Imperial Excellency, Imperator, Grand Director of All Stuff, Iain

DATE: February 1, 2009

RE: Food

I would like to indicate some changes to the lunch/dinner/snack protocol.

1. I will no longer consume cut up prunes. I will chew on them for ten minutes and then force you to fish out the half-masticated shell, causing you to gag.

2. I may have indicated interest in the Korean rice crackers last week, but this week they are non-starters. I will toss them on the floor.

3. New foods that are acceptable include: hummus, Nutri-Grain Bars (apple flavor).

Please note these changes.


Heather said...

Well. He has spoken.

chris bray said...

The staff at Team Cherkis-Bray world headquarters similarly learned this morning that tiny pumpkin-ricotta pancakes ARE NOT ACCEPTABLE. The floors, they are strewn.

Fiona said...

Ridiculous! Those sound delicious.

We have entered a period of non-swallowing, as well. Iain will chew, slobber on, and generally mush up a food item (prune, rice chex, and today a piece of bacon) but not swallow. For like 15 or 20 minutes.

It's gross, dude.