Adopt-a-Grandma

My friend Chris says he wishes he lived here so he could enjoy robocalls. I hated to break it to Chris that Kentucky is a safe state for one side and thus we get no robocalls. I saw a map of robocalling and we're not one of the places with big square bubbles. Wah.

But I did get a push-poll.

For those of you who have never heard of such a thing, this is a poll where they aren't really interested in asking you questions. They're really interested in telling you things. In my case, the poll was about the senate race between Bruce Lunsford (D) and Mitch McConnell (R). The call came from a sweet old lady with a lovely southern accent.

"Do you think you'll vote for Bruce Lunsford or Mitch McConnell?" She wanted to know. And then, "Would you say you're Very Favorable, [etc.] to the policies of George W. Bush?"

That went on for a while, then the pushing started. "I'm going to read you a few statements that opponents of Mitch McConnell might make, and then I'll ask you what you think of them, ok?"

Sure.

"Mitch McConnell was born under the Sign of the Beast. He actually has horns. His supporters sacrifice kittens under the full moon while drinking the blood of murdered virgins. Also, he likes pickles in his tuna fish salad."

Uh...

"Would you say that you Strongly Agree with that statement, Agree, Pretty Much Agree, or Want to Know More?"

And on like that. It was great fun. I think Sweet Granny could tell I was enjoying her schtick, because at the end she asked, "Do you want to adopt a Grandma?" and I was totally tempted to say yes.

So, Chris, sorry. No robocalls to report. But that doesn't mean our politics lack zest.

[edit: I should add that we've gotten wonderful mailers from the red side, as well. They demonstrate incontrovertibly that someone over there can use PhotoShop. Here's Bruce Lunsford eating shredding $100 bills for breakfast. Here he is bathing in caviar while two fancy ladies look on. Did you know Bruce Lunsford wears gold-plated underpants? It's true! I saw a photograph of it!]