It's the Little Stuff

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I never really thought about all the things you have to learn.

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Like, this week I've been sitting Iain up and pulling off his onesie. He has to lift his arms so I can get it off, and he gets the most quizzical look on his face when the fabric goes over his head. I think he was accustomed to us dressing him while he was on his back, but this new way is...weird, he thinks.

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Another thing I never considered was my hairstyle. Not the style itself, but the fact that it changes. My hair is long, and sometimes I wear a pony-tail, other times it's pulled partly back, and when I'm feeling extra crazy I just let it all hang down.

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For the first couple of months of Iain's life, I pretty much wore a pony-tail all the time. So when I began to carry him around after my shower (hair hanging down and wet), he was confused. Then I started teaching again, which meant the partial pull-back. More confusion. Iain spent a lot of time reaching for my hair and stroking it thoughtfully. Those little brain-wheels were grinding away: "Looks like my mommy, but the feathers aren't right. Smells like my mommy, but what's all this fringe?" etc.

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Meanwhile, I'm remembering childhood lessons long forgotten. Such as: wash behind your ears. I don't think I'd done this in twenty years (obviously, when I wash my hair, the shampoo gets back there. That's fine, right?).

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But now I'm washing Iain, and I'm hyper aware of all the places that a bit of schmutz might collect. So it's scrub, scrub, scrub behind those ears, and scrub, scrub, scrub between those toes.

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Next I'm going to have to learn a few songs. On Top of Old Smoky*, Great Green Globs of Greasy, Grimy, Gopher Guts** and Mrs. O'Leary*** aren't cutting it.

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*On top of old smokeeeee,

All covered with sand,

I shot my poor teeeeeeacher,

With a red rubber band.

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I shot her with glory,

I shot her with priiiiide.

I couldn't have missed her,

She was forty feet wide.

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I went to her fuuuuuneral,

I went to her grave,

Some people threw flowers,

I threw hand grenades.

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[The above is so obviously the product of a more innocent time. I remember thinking that the really insulting part of this was the second verse, where you get to call your teacher fat.]

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**Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,

Mutilated monkey-meat,

Little tiny birdy feet,

Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,

And I forgot my spoooooon!

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***Late last night, when we were all in bed (make sleepy signal with hands next to cheek)

Mrs. O'Leary hung a lantern in the shed (make lantern-hanging motion)

And when the cow kicked it over (mime kick)

She winked her eye and said: (make winking motion with hand next to eye)

It's gonna be a hot time, in the Old Town, To-night! (make fanning motion)

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[These last two, on the other hand, are as much fun now as they ever were. I especially enjoy holding Iain's hands and getting him to do the motions for Mrs. O'Leary, since he has Absolutely No Idea what the crazy lady is going on about.]