Thursday, May 21, 2009

My Hopes for Tomorrow

1. I hope that when I screw on the top of Iain's milk I won't do it sideways and thus cause all the milk to drain out into the carpet.

2. I hope that when I change Iain's poopy diaper he won't jiggle his heels, dipping them into the poop while reaching for the diaper, ending up with poo spread across his thighs and up his belly, not to mention on the changing pad and under his fingernails, as he flips over and tries to crawl off the table and fall to the floor thus taking ten years off my life and leaving me trying to decide where to wipe next with the only two hands I've got. [Diagram that, English teachers!]

3. I hope that when I feed Iain a cracker with hummus on it he doesn't reach into his mouth, pull out the half-masticated cracker and drop it on the floor, then demand more food as if I am some cruel taskmistress who denies him basic sustenance. Also, it would be nice to feed him hummus without some of it getting in his eyebrow(s).

4. I hope that when the phone rings and I reach for the earpiece, I notice the person calling, rather than the sensation of wet, spitty foam in my outer ear.

5. I hope I don't overcook the squash.

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